The turbo minivan lidar project

My then-stock minivan, as purchased.

In June 2000 I bought Clifford, my 1989 Plymouth Voyager SE turbo shown above. My main plans for the van revolved around dragstrip performance; I quickly set to work mining more power from the 2.5L four cylinder engine. But pure acceleration isn't my only goal for this vehicle; I also want to be invisible to police lidar guns.

Lidar invisibility? A big red minivan???

I know, I know, I must be off my rocker. But, hey, if I can make this thing boogie down a drag strip quicker than a Mustang 5.0L--and I've already done so--then I ought to be able to diminish a revenue agent's ability to lighten my wallet, doncha think?

How am I going to do this? By applying principles taught in various real-world lidar gun and jammer tests. Car and Driver magazine has done much of the research for me; see articles from April 92, Nov 93, Mar 96, and Nov 96 for reference.

My current plan of attack involves all of the following steps:

remove the chrome hood ornament
paint the grille & headlight bezels black
paint both bumpers black
install black bumper end caps
paint metal chin 'spoiler' black
install black hood lip protector (fabric bra style)
repaint exterior mirrors (to update faded paint)
switch to a black radio antenna & base
install clear infrared-absorbing lenses over all forward lights

I'll have my work cut out for me, especially with the light covers. Nonetheless these are all things which I can accomplish... and together they will certainly stack the odds in my favor when a cop takes aim at me and pulls the trigger. Since the best radar/laser detector money can buy is considered mandatory equipment, I'll know when I'm being targeted. I'll be sure to take photos and post them here as the project progresses. This will make it easy to see my van morph from easy lidar prey to a stealthy, elusive target.

March 01: the metamorphosis has begun. I removed the chrome hood ornament and painted the grille and bezels black.

April 01: Had both bumpers powdercoated black. Installed textured flat black bumper end caps up front; currently reinstalled OE caps out back but will upgrade them to match at some point.

Final update: the project came to an end when I sold this van. Of course, I transferred all my custom black pieces to the new van so the experiment can continue in the future.

Modified: 2-19-08.